39 going on 40

Today, on the pre eve of my 40th birthday, I reflect on a decade that has been overall a blessing. However it would be dishoneset to say it has not been filled with challenges, pain, and deep uncertainties as well. Here is one last poem posted at 39. With gratitude. - Poet Simone

I want to write at least one more time at 39

To see the world through 39-year-old eyes

To hear the sound of nothing

Peace through 39-year-old ears

A decade that has been full

Just full

So full

Of fears and disappointments

But also of triumphs and wins

Of overcoming and coming outs and overs

And ups and above

Above all else

I am still here and ready to see what is next

Ready to welcome in the upright pointedness of 4 and roundness of the 0 

That make up 40 

that together make up a woman that stands tall accepting her curves for what they are 

for what they offer 

for what they give 

and for the zero damns they give from what the world thinks about them

That makes up the red lip when she feels like it 

and the flat shoe 

or heck no shoe 

grounded in the grass on her own time 

soaking up the sun when she REALLY feels like it

I want to write at least one more time at 39

Because I was not supposed to see 39 

much less 40 in my right mind

And here I sit waiting to stir a pot of greens 

the week before I host Thanksgiving in my own digs

Breathing in air that is clean 

and I am free

The only lock on my door is one where I have the key

There is no lock on my fridge 

there is no code on my wrist

I eat on my own schedule

I piss when I say piss

All this to say

I am free to turn 40 on my own terms

I think I’ll wear a red lip

I think I’ll ground my bare feet

I think I’ve done enough writing 

It’s time to celebrate life now!